im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
