You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
