The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
