I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
