evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
