I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
