That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
