I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
