fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
