We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
