Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
