Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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