How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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