i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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