Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
