I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
