well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
