Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
