Reggie can tackle my bush.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
