Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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