The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Quick, to the slutcave!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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