Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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