im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
