He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
