Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
