The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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