I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
