i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
