I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
