So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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