I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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