No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
