Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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