Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
