It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
