Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
