Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
