I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
