Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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