Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
