sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
