4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
