I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
