Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
