i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
