Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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