yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
