I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
