i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love having hate sex.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
