So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
