Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
