vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
