I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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