where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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