yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
